I’m dreaming of that sunny place again.
It is bright, warm, colourful, but
Unsatisfying---
Don’t know who it is that stands there,
A silhouette against the burning star in the sky…
Someone with long, streaming hair….
Wait, no……

Can’t figure it out
Can’t see who it is that is watching me
Taunting me, calling me…
Pulling me into the…..

I’m dreaming of that dark place again.
It is dismal, cold, gray, but
Heavy---
Aware, perhaps too much,
Of that stark face staring straight in my eyes
White and empty, choking me…
Wait, no…..no…

Can’t figure it out
Can’t see who it is that is watching me
Taunting me, calling me…
Pulling me into the grasses

Pulling me as if I am on a leash,
As if I am flying through a void in the air---
A tunnel full of grass, and leaves and weeds…
Don’t know where I am!
But I see that same old person at the end of the tunnel,
Like a light….
Pulling me into God knows what…

I’m dreaming again of that place.
I cannot see a thing this time
But I feel the heat on my body, squishing me, choking me
Squeezing my organs flat,
Until all I feel is the grass, and the leaves, and the weeds
And I’m flying with the smell of earth in my nose and skin

I’m trying not to get to the end of the tunnel
I don’t want to figure out who it is there.
I can’t stand this,
I can’t stand this,
I can barely hold onto to the earth, there are no roots left to grasp
And my eyes roll back into my head
And I finally see who it is, rolling their eyes at me, pushing me into a hole and burying me.